BigTDoghouse

Hell hath no fury...

2009-02-17T10:07:00.000-08:00

Is the moral of this story "Don't be the ugly one" or is it "Don't cheat on your wife" or could it be "Don't look 5 gift horses in the mouths"?

Chinese Mistress Contest Ends in Death
CNN

BEIJING, China (Feb. 17) -- A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep.

But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported.
The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said.

Police initially thought the car had plummeted off a mountain road in eastern China on Dec. 6 by accident. Then they learned of the contest through a letter the dead woman had left behind, the Shanghai Daily newspaper said.

The 29-year-old woman, identified only as Yu, was a waitress when she met the businessman at a restaurant in the coastal city of Qingdao in 2000.

At the time, the businessman, identified only by his last name -- Fan -- was married and had four other mistresses, according to the Peninsula Metropolis Daily newspaper in Qingdao.

No Fan of Bush

2009-01-20T20:47:00.000-08:00

He may be a fan of Hairy Beavers, but he's no fan of Bush!

Favorite line of the day: "They aren't saying BOOOOOOO!, they're saying BOOOOOOSH!"

This is pretty damned funny

2008-12-08T17:18:00.000-08:00

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

So much for boxing being the "Sweet" Science

2008-11-12T18:23:00.000-08:00

I think my favorite part of this clip is Jim Lampley commenting: "...which prompted Vargas to knock the ever-living shit out of him."

Men-on-men-shirtless-kissing, making men weak in the knees for centuries now.

Pensive, I am

2008-11-11T21:32:00.000-08:00

After a quick googling of my ex-girlfriend's name, I've discovered that she's married and has a new name. Not only is she married, but was married almost a year to the date after we broke up. It feels a bit weird that I was with her 2½ years, and since then (Jan 2007), she: (got over me [possibly, maybe she was just sick of me by that point]); met someone; started a relationship; got engaged; and got married within 13 months.

I'm neither bitter, nor upset. And, I wish nothing but the best for her. It just feels a bit odd -- somehow the math doesn't add up. And, I'm certain that math is the exact same reason we didn't add up.

For the Nerd in You

2008-11-11T19:23:00.000-08:00

1790: Samuel Hopkins, of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania , received Patent No. 1 on July 31, 1790, for an improvement "in the making Pot ash and Pearl ash by a new Apparatus and Process." The patent was signed by President George Washington, Attorney General Edmund Randolph, and Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson.

I went to college with a lot of guys who made a lot of pot ash. Oddly enough, they never paid royalties.

It's a Jungle Out There

2008-10-28T18:03:00.000-07:00

In my efforts to become a dating member of society, as a member of a dating website I was sent an "interest" notification from a woman who has HSV-2. I'm no doctor, so I googled. Results: Not good. Turns out HSV-2 is not just the name of a ship.

Here I Come to Save the Day!

2008-10-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

Last night while grabbing something out of my car, I heard a cry for help. It was a woman across the street calmly, but loudly asking "Sir! Sir! Do you have a phone I can use? My dog is having a seizure!"

I ran in the house and grabbed my phone, and then back out to the canine in distress. The woman called her son to come pick her and "Beau" up. Turns out Beau was a rescued dog, and is susceptible to seizures. It's kind of strange seeing a dog have a seizure -- he was just kind of tranced out, and twitching. The woman assured me Beau would be fine, he just needed some more meds.

Beau snapped back into shape as the son's car pulled up. I think he'll be fine.

Surreal.

Vegas Baby!

2008-09-13T02:35:00.001-07:00

Yes, friends, I am in Las Vegas, drunken-posting at 0543 EST.

The tallies to date:
-$150 gambling
-$85 bar tab
+18 oz, rare prime rib
+3 hooker propositions (0 accepted)
-12 hours sleep lost over the past 2 days
...staying up all night getting drunk and watching lounge acts perform "Funkytown", priceless.

I think my favorite quote of the trip was when a dude I was playing video poker next to stated that he had once met Marvin Gaye on the street (the lounge act was playing Marvin Gaye at the time) -- and Marvin asked him "What's goin' on?" (dude was not even trying to make a joke).

I've missed Vegas...

The Lovers, The Dreamers, and Me.

2008-09-10T18:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I think mankind doesn't stand a chance.

Water Drinks Michael Phelps

2008-08-18T16:02:00.000-07:00

America's newest Superhero, Michael Phelps, has officially arrived! He has his own fun facts page (only rivaled by the omnipotent Chuck Norris). Enjoy!

http://michaelphelpsfacts.com/Welcome.html

10 Movies to see before you die

2008-08-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

As a follow up to the 10 books you need to read before you die, a survey was done on the 10 movies you need to see before you die. It seems they've broken them out by genre.

Drama: The Godfather. One of my absolute favorite movies, ever.

Romance: Titanic. This movie was actually surprisingly good. As a general rule I do not like period pieces, because I know how they end (SPOILER: The boat sinks)...but I found the love story in Titanic compelling.

Classic: Gone With the Wind. This is high on my favorite reads list, and thus makes it very low on my favorite movie list.

Action: Batman Returns. I'm not sure I agree with this one. But I do enjoy this movie.

Sci-Fi: Star Wars. Another of my all time faves. Although, I think the Empire Strikes Back would get the nod in my book.

Horror: The Sixth Sense. This is an awful choice for must-see horror movie of all time. Insert the Omen or the Exorcist and I'd be happier. The reason I hated the Sixth Sense so much? Because I figured it out in 15 minutes. "I see dead Bruce Willises"

Teen: The Breakfast Club. Hard to argue with this choice. Who doesn't love the Breakfast Club.

Musical: Moulin Rouge. I hate musicals. Period. With a gun to my head, I would put West Side Story light years ahead of Moulin Rouge.

Comedy: The Naked Gun. Although I did like the Naked Gun, there are so many better comedies to put ahead of it. Wayne's World, Austin Powers, Old School, Swingers, Office Space...I could go on.

Foreign: Amelie. I enjoyed this movie. I can't say that I've seen a lot of foreign flicks, but I think I would put Life is Beautiful and Enter the Dragon above this one.

So where do you weigh in on these choices? DJ Skittles: I'm looking your way!

Death Pool

2008-08-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

They say celebrities always go in threes...

This weekend we've sadly lost Bernie Mac:

Then we sadly lost Isaac Hayes:

Who will be #3?

I'm putting my money on Muhammed Ali

Hail to the Redskins!

2008-08-09T19:00:00.001-07:00

No. I'm not a 'skins fan. Well, not directly.

I do like when the 'skins are on TV though, that is the optimal time to get anything done around this overcrowded town. Tonight, I went to the market to get my victuals...and I was expecting to have to fight for parking, as I always do. Instead I found something similar to this:

I came home a few minutes later to find that the Redskins were on TV. Coincidence? I think not.

PS: It is also very advantageous to golf during 'skins games

On the soapbox: E-Cheaters

2008-07-26T14:25:00.000-07:00

There's been a lot of buzz in the media about the website ashleymadison.com, which is a dating website that promotes infidelity/affairs. Overall, the feedback I've heard/read about this site is to condemn the website for promoting such behavior. What the fuck is wrong with people. Seriously, it's not like the website forced anyone to cheat...

People have been purveying vice for centuries (casinos, strip clubs, pimps, drug dealers, bar tenders) -- how is this any different? What happened to people taking responsibility for their own actions. Would anyone's marriage be vastly improved if e-cheating didn't exist?

Project Runway!

2008-07-23T17:59:00.001-07:00

The D has inspired me to play fantasy Project Runway...not exactly the natural progression from playing fantasy sports. I hope trash talking is not frowned upon! 'Cause I'm throwin' down!

I'm Half Well Read!

2008-07-09T10:04:00.000-07:00

There was an internet survey of 10 books you must read before you die...I've read half of them; as a general non-reader, I'm impressed with myself. Even if the list is not exactly loaded with what are commonly considered literary classics.

Here's the list:
Gone With the Wind*
Lord of the Rings*/2
Harry Potter
The Stand*
The DaVinci Code*
To Kill a Mocking Bird*
Angels and Demons
Atlas Shrugged
Catcher in the Rye*x2
The Bible

I only read half of the Lord of the Rings -- reading about trolls, elves, wzards, hobbits, and whatnot got boring after a while (allegory be damned)...the movies had started being released, and frankly, I preferred the eye candy.

But, I did read the Catcher in the Rye twice. Once when I was 15, once again when I was 30...I'm sure I'll get more out of it at 45. It was an eye-opener re-reading this work...as a 15 year old, to me, Holden Caufield was a rebel and an anti-hero -- as a 30 year old, to me, he was just an insecure prick. Why this is mandatory high school reading is a mystery to me. I don't think a 15 year old can see the intracacies of what Salinger is trying to convey...at least this guy couldn't.

The Stand and DaVinci Code were good page turners...I enjoyed them both for what they are.

Angels and Demons and Atlas Shrugged are definitely on my to-read list...Harry Potter and The Bible, not so much.

Gone With the Wind is by far the crown jewel of this list...great book. A book so good it made me hate the movie (which is widely considered in the Top 3 movies ever made, but then again Citizen Kane did nothing for me).

So, Intrepid Readers, which of these have you read? and what were your impressions?

Watermelon - the other blue pill

2008-07-06T22:43:00.000-07:00

Scientists at Texas A&M University have found that watermelon has the potential to act as a natural Viagra. Ya know...my mother mentioned this to me earlier today (insert your own Woody Allen joke here)-- and then I saw my neighbor hauling an 8 pound mellon up the stairs a couple of hours later...I didn't connect the dots until now, at 1:45 in the morning...

I love this commercial

2008-07-05T13:28:00.000-07:00

Enzyte Bob!

This commercial is not great because it is about male enhancement -- It's great for all the double-entendres smuggled into the copy...

Bob is "chubby" with a "sack-ful" of pride...as things heat up on the north pole...I applaud you Madison Avenue. Well played.

WTF flavored ice cream

2008-07-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon this item at the grocery store today:

Drumstick flavored ice cream? Isn't that like having a Snickers flavored candy bar? Or a cheddar flavored cheese?

Fun on the 4th

2008-07-04T22:18:00.000-07:00

I had a great time with the peeps tonight...I even got to sing the anthem to the Greatest American Hero...

However, catching a cab on U Street is no picnic...the is the 2nd time I've had a considerable amount of trouble getting a cab back across the Potomac Curtain...

Fortunately for me I met Rob, a down on his luck guy just trying to make a couple of bucks...Rob took me in his car (not a cab) home...He was a nice fellow and I deliberately overpaid him...for being a nice guy and for being the only person who would drive me home...

Thanks Rob.

I know getting in a car with a stranger is not the wisest choice...It's not like he was a Bigfoot!

America! Fuck Yeah!

2008-07-03T15:55:00.000-07:00

I have yet to figure out this freakshow's game -- but he stands on the corner of Columbia Pike and George Mason Blvd. in the A-town with his hat and his bad dance moves. In other words, he's the perfect metaphor for America! Happy B-day America! And, thank you for the entertainment, Mr.-I-wear-a-big-stars-and-stripes-hat-and-dance-on-a-street-corner-in-Arlington guy. I hope we never make eye contact while I'm waiting at a red light...

FLO-RIDA

2008-07-01T18:36:00.000-07:00

So, I booked my travel plans to be a Flo-Rida later this month.

The plans are for golf, relaxation, more golf, booze, etc...more golf...more relaxation, more golf, boobs...etc...etc...more golf...more boobs...etc...etc

So I've seen the layout of one of the courses I'm going to play. This hole scares the shit out of me:

...and that is in addition to the the 'gators who will be coming for my tasty fat ass. Does garlic fend off gators?

Furr Burger

2008-06-29T19:09:00.000-07:00

NPH...does not disappoint...

Sunday Stone-a-thon

2008-06-29T18:17:00.000-07:00

So -- I just finished watching "How High" starring Method Man and Redman...this is an underrated cinematic achievement. Aside from being a couple of brothas who happen to get into Harvard (an homage to "Soul Man" in a reverse they're-not-white-kind-of-way), they manage to insert into the plot line that they need to smoke the remains of John Quincy Adams in order to pass their finals...quite the plot twist...and, may I say, a stroke of cinematic genius.

So, I decided to google "Smoking John Quincy Adams" and I got this quote which JQA stated after he quit smoking butts:

'I have often wished that every individual afflicted with this artificial passion could force it upon himself to try but for three months the experiment which I made, sure that it would turn every acre of tobacco land into a wheat field, and add five years to the average of human life'.

God speed the other members of the Wu Tang Clan who can provide me more "The More You Know" moments. If only Ol' Dirty Bastard had heeded such wisdom.

Up next: Harold and Kumar go to White Castle...hopefully Neil Patrick Harris has something insightful to say.

A Night at Nationals Park...

2008-06-24T19:45:00.001-07:00

I went to the Angels v. Nationals game with Rob tonight and we had a great time. It helped that we had perfect weather, and the Angels kicked ass.

However, I was forced to confront myself. I made a conscious (or even conscientious), sober decision to not hit-on/flirt-with the 23 year old law student who was sitting in front of us. Unconscious and/or unsober, this story would have a different ending I'm sure. 23 years old...it feels like yesterday, but it was a lifetime ago (or at least a third of a lifetime).

Was it Wisdom? Experience? Foresight? or a huge Lapse in judgment? -- no clue -- I suppose Siobhan will have to weigh in on this thing.

Maybe in 30 years I'll have the wisdom, experience, and foresight to make a different decision. Hey, it worked for Tony Randall...but then again, he's dead.

What is Wrong with People?

2008-06-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

I just gave a raise to someone at work, whose reaction was basically, "Thanks for nothin'." -- except it could've been a raise for nothin'

I think I'll have to get this person a T-shirt.

Back in the Doghouse

2008-06-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

Internet re-activated!

I'm sure me talking to the nice kid in India at 3am last night appreciates that I spent the prior 7 hours with The D and Young K cruisin' H Street.

Sunday Un-Funday

2008-06-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

So I've opted after another endorphin tingling Saturday-it-don't-matter-Day to not play along with Sunday Funday.

My internet broke...'cause some asshat didn't pay the bill...

My bedroom flooded yesterday with that biblical style monsoon that rolled through here for 10 minutes -- water just gushed down through my ceiling light fixture...and I have a ceiling fan -- so it was extra fun that the water got sprinkled evenly across the entire room.

So that leaves me at a Starbucks in a mall on Sunday afternoon catching up on my e-stuff...

Unfortunately, the highlight of my day was eavesdropping on 2 elderly women discussing the virtues of owning a Jockey made brazziere.

Irish Car Bomb

2008-05-24T10:11:00.001-07:00

OK. I ripped this photo off from the District, because it cracked me up to no end. Irish Car Bombs are the BOMB!

Smell the Glove!

2008-05-21T19:39:00.001-07:00

So I found out Monday that I'm on the company softball team. Problem being...the only glove I own broke a couple of years ago.

So I rolled out to Dick's Sporting Goods and bought myself a nice softball glove -- something that should last me at least a decade of weekend warrior stints out on the mall.

Something I hadn't done in decades was break a glove in...luckily, like riding a bike, once you learn you never forget. I remember getting my first glove with my father, oiling it up, stuffing a ball in it, and wrapping it tightly. I remember my father telling me that I'd have to wait at least a week for the oil to work its magic before I could use it. The torture of the delayed gratification is probably something analogous to telling a released prisoner to go to a whorehouse and take his time.

Oddly enough, I remember my father telling me that I had to store the glove under my bed -- probably his little psychological ploy to keep it out of sight and out of mind. Didn't work. Like picking at a scab, I'd open that thing up every night and marvel at the metamorphisis taking place.

I think I'll have more restraint this time -- I don't even need to keep it under the bed.

Broken Fridge

2008-05-21T18:02:00.000-07:00

Ever have your refrigerator break?

Ever not notice that it broke for a few days?

...yeah me neither {sigh}

PS: Why is there a "d" in the word "fridge" but not in refrigerator?

Take me Lord -- I'm ready!

2008-05-05T16:17:00.000-07:00

Does Solly's offer this and wake-hosting as some kind of funeral preneed package?

Cost: $3 + the cost of the wake

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2008-05-04-beer-coffin_N.htm

Getting Home

2008-04-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

I make my way back to the airport and get there one and a half hours before my flight. It takes me a full hour to get from the Metro station to my locker to the terminal and to the gate. I got there with barely enough time to use the restroom before we boarded.

The flight was long (8 hours) but not too bad.

I'm happy to be home.

Museum of Ham

2008-04-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

I stop for lunch at Museo de Jamon (The Ham Museum!). I have bocadillo de Jamon (Ham sandwich) which is just a crunchy bagette with a thin slice of ham. But the ham is incredible!

Madrid Metro

2008-04-15T13:00:00.001-07:00

The Madrid Metro is a lovely system. It's clean, timely, and has television!

Palacio Real

2008-04-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

The Palace is elaborate and lush. The audio tour takes only about 1:45. The Palace is nice to see and all, and I'm glad I did it -- but it's not mind blowing or life changing. I'm far more impressed with the cityscape of Madrid.

Madrid has lots of clean streets with new buildings intermixed with the old.

Terracotta Man

2008-04-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

He's fragile, he's decorative, he's a beautiful adornment. He's Terracotta Man!

Madrid

2008-04-15T11:30:00.000-07:00

I disembark and I'm jazzed that I can read the signs and ask for things in a native tongue. Now my Spanish isn't great, but I feel empowered knowing that I can ask for directions, count my money, and figure out the Metro system.

I stuff my bag in a locker - armed with only a camera, I take the train to the Palacio Real (the Royal Palace). I'm able to get from plane to audio tour at the Palace in 1 hour. I'm pretty impressed with myself.

Greek Stereotypes

2008-04-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

Greeks:
Do not eat pita all the time
Do not have any dishes with Phyllo dough, except spanikopita
Do not paint every building baby blue
Do not eat Hummus

Are a big hearted people who want nothing more than for you to enjoy yourself
Are a bit pushy...but not in a malicious way
Savor life
Are proud of who they are...maybe to a fault
Are shrewd business people and are always looking for an angle
Aren't judgmental

I think it's safe to say that I like Greeks.

PS: I also met no one named Zorba, did not see a gypsy, and not once did I hear "If I were a rich man"

Leaving Greece

2008-04-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

The TV was programmed with the wake up call -- pretty cool -- then the phone rang too. I'm up and out post-haste. I say my goodbyes to Andrea -- and off to the airport. Another 47E. I'll be glad when I can stop hemorraging money.

My morning improves as this is a business class flight to Madrid - YIPPEE!

I enjoy the leg room and the breakfast -- and then I sleep the rest of the way. I awake in Madrid with 6½ hours to kill...and a game plan.

Last night in Greece

2008-04-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

Andrea and I head back out to dinner -- she is still not feeling great and only has a couple of bites of her food. This is like the 3rd time in the past 2 days. And the Greeks are proud people. Everytime Andrea eats only a couple of bites the waiter immediately pipes up "What? Somethingawrong witta da food? I senda back and makea you happy anda full" (and for purposes of this journal Greeks sound just like Italians. I'm sure that'll offend them).

So now word has surely spread to the other chefs in town about Andrea's lack of appetite. Good thing we leave town in the morning.

We do some light souvenir shopping and head back to the hotel. I have trouble getting to sleep - luckily there is a movie on TV in English and only subtitled in Greek. About 2am I see if I can catch a swim on the rooftop pool. Alas, the pool is roped off. Back to the room. 5am comes early

Back to Athens

2008-04-14T19:00:00.000-07:00

Back to the hotel. Andrea and I read on the rooftop for a bit. It is so nice up there. A cool breeze takes the edge off the humidity.

The Acropolis is lit up at night, not unlike the DC monuments. Because of its perch above the dimly lit city it seems to hover like a haven, like something mythical -- which I'm sure is what the Greeks had in mind with its design.

Peter waxes about Olive Oil

2008-04-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

Peter has described to us the virtues of Greek Olive Oil over the Italian version. The Greek oil is green - and purportedly tastes better than its Italian counterpart (I'm not arguing).

I've come to find in my very short stay in Greece that the Greeks accuse the Romans/Italians of stealing everything. They are clearly worse than U.S. Southerners discussing the War of Nothern Agression - but it is analogous.

At one point Andrea confirmed to Peter "Yeah, the Greek Olive Oil is thicker" -- he cut her off quickly and derisively "IT IS NOT THICKER! IT IS MORE PURE!"

Lunch in Corinth

2008-04-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

So after checking out the ruins (ugh! More ruins), Peter took us to a local outdoor cafe for lunch. More good food, more great produce -- and this time we had freshly squeezed lemon juice (of course, we had to add a little bit of sugar)
Time to head back to town -- on our way Peter drove us by a small bridge at the foot of the canal, so we got to see the whole length of the canal from the bottom up.

Then back to the hotel

Onour trip we had stopped in a souvenir shop and Andrea picked out a bottle of Ouzo for our mother in the shape of Venus d'Milo (or as I always like to think of her the Intravenous d'Milo)

Pan Fluatist

2008-04-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

It's Zamfir Master of the Pan Flute's muse

Temple of Apollo

2008-04-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

We're off to the Temple of Apollo in Old Corinth. There was a museum which had a collection of headless statues. I went to do a turtle head and stick my head inside of my shirt to pose next to the other headless statues.
I actually got called out by the docent "NO! NO! Serious pictures only!" Sounded like someone needed to lighten up.

This reminded me of The Christmas Story

2008-04-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

...and I think it comes from FRAGILE

Day trip to Corinth

2008-04-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

I had arranged for MY driver, Peter (from the other day) to give us a private tour of the ancient city of Corinth.

Peter grabbed us right on time and away-we-go.
First stop was the canal - which is 180 feet tall and a couple of miles long. It is quite the engineering feat -- and completed in 1893, before dynamite (with all due respect to Jimmy Walker)

Dinner in Athens

2008-04-13T23:00:00.000-07:00

We head out for dinner - someplace Andrea found in her tourist book which is an "institution" known for its deep fried cod. Also good were the chick pea croquets with Tzatziki sauce. A good meal, but Andrea does not feel well (still) - so we head back. [the cook is once again offended that Andrea hardly touched her food]

I cruised a bar looking for some interaction - much like Rome, this town is not into bars, but is very big into cafes. That makes it very hard for me, solo, in the Falcon, to meet some peeps.

Walkabout Athens

2008-04-13T17:00:00.000-07:00

We trek out into the neighborhood -- Andrea is amazed by the whole scene- it is busy, ancient, and a bit overwhelming. We hike up to the Acropolis. It is all being restored, so it doesn't quite have the mystique I would expect, but the views are impressive. It is amazing to think about these massive marble temples being built 3000 years ago. They are truly wonders.

After coming back down the hill we are hot, sweaty, and famished. We find a sidewalk cafe. Andrea has the cold cucumber soup, which is not cold enough for her taste. I have tomatoes and cucumbers w/ olive oil. Once again, the produce produces.

We get a pistachio gelato that is one of the best ice creams I've ever had. I head back for a shower and some R&R while Andrea keeps cruising the streets.

The Theatre of Dionysius

2008-04-13T15:44:00.000-07:00

Acting!

New pics

2008-04-13T14:02:00.000-07:00

http://picasaweb.google.com/BigTDogHouse/Athens

I promise I'll try to post these inside the blog at a later date...but wanted to share what I had taken up til now.

Enjoy!

Moving to Athens

2008-04-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

We check out of the Astir Palace and head on to the Electra Palace hotel in historic Athens in the Plaka neighborhood. This is supposed to be a 5-star hotel. I now suspect the Greeks are on a 10-star rating system. I mean, it's nice, but so is the Holiday Inn. It's certainly nothing like the hotel we just left.

We do, however, have an incredible view of the Arcopolis (the High City) - and here I thought that title would go to Amsterdam.

Back on the mainland

2008-04-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

We get back to port from Hydra and back to the hotel. Andrea goes to sleep right away and I head on down to the bar, where my new friends from Cannon Corporation Europe are. More good times.

Bat shit crazy

2008-04-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

This woman was sitting across from me on the Dolphin ride home from Hydra. She was crazy or high -- or both. She'd roll her eyes in the back of her head and start convulsing.

At one point she looked like she was holding an imaginary baby against her breast.

At various points she would writhe and twitch like she was in the throes of ecstasy -- and then she'd "climax" and rub her crotch. She frightened me.

Who's my Peloponnesian?

2008-04-12T19:00:00.001-07:00

Sadly and funnily this was scrawled on a cannon on Hydra

Eating on Hydra

2008-04-12T18:59:00.000-07:00

We meander around the cove and find a restaurant on a cliff called the Sunset Cafe. The view is spectacular. We decide to settle in here and have an early dinner. Good times!

After dinner I sat on the water and nursed a couple beers while Andrea window shopped.

The beer of choice in Greece is MYTHOS -- it is a mild lager good for sipping in the sun. Drinking Mythos in Greece is comparable to drinking Red Stripe in the Caribbean.

Sidenote #6

2008-04-12T18:30:00.000-07:00

Kombolói, also known as "worry beads" look like a rosary, but have no religious significance. Men can be seen all over Greece flipping and twirling these beads around. They are used to pass time, keep your fingers occupied while you don't smoke, or to give your fingers something to do while you ponder life's more important questions.

Greeks do love to smoke, a lot. I was told that smoking is legal everywhere in Greece except the hospitals. Granted, I did find more places that prohibited smoking, but not many. Also, almost all restaurants do not distinguish a non-smoking section.

This pic is of a man twirling his beads on Hydra, but I think he was twirling them too fast for the camera to capture.

Hydra

2008-04-12T15:45:00.000-07:00

The Isle of Hydra is lovely -- a small town is nestled in the hillside of a tiny bay. It has fortress walls and cannons on either side of the bay entrances. We are both happy we decided to spend a bulk of our time here. We walk around a bit and inventory what there is to see and do.

It is mostly cafes and boutique shopping -- definitely a destination for the wealthy. There are 4 monster yachts docked (75+ feet) there. Andrea peeped in one of the stores -- a silk blouse was priced at 475E.

Poros

2008-04-12T14:00:00.000-07:00

We get to Poros and it is small and quaint with lots of little outdoor restaurants. I check the board for the ferries and see that the one we came on is the last one leaving today -- and it's leaving in 15 minutes!

We hustle around to see if there are any Dolphins leaving later, and thankfully there are. There is one leaving for Hydra (pronounced "ee-dra") at 3pm and we book a Dolphin to come back from Hydra at 8pm -- all the way back to the mainland.

Andrea was a bit taken back when I went into panic mode about getting off the island of Poros. She said "What's the worst that could happen? We have to spend the night here?" I told her "Yes. That is the worst that could happen!"

I might have felt differently if I had an overnight bag or knew that the hotels on the island were reasonably priced (and most important, had vacancies). So my little freak out sent us to Hydra which ended up being a great thing.

To the Islands!

2008-04-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

After breakfast Andrea and I grab a cab out to Piaraus -- which is the marina. We immediately find tickets for a "Dolphin" (or hydro-foil) boat leaving for Aegina in 10 minutes. 40 minutes later we're on the island.

It is rather large and we are being constantly pestered to rent a car or a moped to tour the entire island. We walk around for an hour or so -- we went to some ruined temple, dedicated to Apollo about half a mile away. We get bored quickly and decide to catch the ferry to the Isle of Poros.

Sidenote #5

2008-04-11T23:02:00.000-07:00

The big toe on my right foot is killing me -- I think I strained a tendon or something.

Quiet night in

2008-04-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

Andrea and I spent the rest of the night in the room, talking, surfing the internet, reading -- it was really nice spending some quiet time with her.

Sidenote #4

2008-04-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

Greece has the most amazing produce! It is so fresh and colorful and tasty -- and this rule applies to every restaurant here.

Italian food?

2008-04-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

I'm got back at the hotel and took a catnap and then off to dinner again. We went to a small Greek restaurant suggested by the front desk. We sat to order and were informed that none of the Greek food was available -- so we left. Bummer. I was looking forward to Mousaka and Spanikopita. We ended up at an Italian restaurant of all places -- the food was actually pretty decent.

Meeting Peter

2008-04-11T16:15:00.000-07:00

I'm done at the Olympic Gardens and and Iam tired and my feet hurt. I find a taxi right outside the Olympic Garden and 2 old men were sitting on a bench near the cab. They asked where I needed to go and where I was from. Turns out the driver lived in Baltimore and his buddy lived in Houston.

So the driver (Peter) quotes me a price and offers to drive by a few more of the sights. He takes me by the Olympic Stadium, where they now light the torch every Olympic games and then past the King's mansion, where there is a beefeater type guard. Peter actually pulled the cab over and took my picture with the guard.

On the ride to the hotel, Peter offers his services to take us on various day-trips -- to which I tell him I will give him a call (more on this later).

Sidenote #3

2008-04-11T13:33:00.000-07:00

Since I lost my hat on the Super Shuttle I've been on the lookout for a new one. I found one for the PANATHINAIKOS football club. They are like the Yankees of Greek soccer. I have made many new friends who love that I'm wearing the hat. I've only seen one other hat for that team on the street. I don't think Greeks wear their gear like Americans. I think they save it for gameday.

Sidenote #2

2008-04-11T13:32:00.000-07:00

Since I'm alone I've decided to amuse myself by taking self-portraits in front of the sights -- I'm tickled at the results

Sidenote #1

2008-04-11T13:31:00.000-07:00

The streets are narrow and crowded with people and mopeds. I've been asked by 8 different old ladies if I want to buy a table cloth. They remind me of the Flower Guy in DuPont Circle -- omnipresent and always on the prowl. You see im so many times in different establishments you're convinced that he and his quinteplet brothers (or multiple dopplegangers) concocted this scheme. I'm now convinced that Tablecloth Woman and Flower Guy are related.

(update: Flower Guy is here in Athens too! Now I'm convinced they are related, or have opened some kind of wormhole between Athens and DC)

I'm Sightseeing (finally)

2008-04-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

After walking around for a little bit and crossing paths I had wandered aimlessly through only 2 hours before, I was finally able to find the Tower of Winds -- one of the landmarks on my list.

I then proceeded to Hadrian's Library, the Cathedral, the Unknown Soldier Memorial, and the Original Olympic garden.

It's a Small World Afterall

2008-04-11T12:45:00.000-07:00

I finish writing my postcards home and head back to the rendevous point to find my chariot. I've got about 15 minutes to spare. While buying a soda from a street vendor -- Hey! A familiar face!

I give a knowing hello and she gives me a dismissive "Hi" -- then she says "You're staying in the same hotel as me, aren't you?"
"Yes, I sat at the table next to you at breakfast yesterday"
"You're Andrea's brother, aren't you?"

So we sit and chat for about half-an-hour. She works in London for the company that sponsored Andrea's business conference. I see my trolley train coming and she has to get back to catch her plane. Apparently the trolley didn't want to wait for me, or anyone.

But, I didn't mind. I finally knew where I was on the map and didn't feel so alone anymore.

Finding my bearings

2008-04-11T11:45:00.000-07:00

After wandering aimlesslyt for almost an hour through crowded street after crowded street I found a beam of hope. A guided tour. I paid my 5E and got on the trolly.

We weaved between pedestrians and parked cars while the tour guide shouted out from a cue card about things completely obfuscated from our view. At this point I'm feeling better, because I'm sitting next to an American and I can make comments that don't drift into entropy. (However, this co-ed (she couldn't have been more than 19 yo) had no interest in talking to me, let alone anyone).

We reach the base of the hill of the Acropolis. Our tour guide gives us 1 hour to go explore. Knowing that Andrea wanted to see the Acropolis (which is the A1 site in Athens), I defer and sit outside the gate and write postcards home.

Cruising into Athens

2008-04-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

Traffic was murder -- as bad as I've seen in any city -- but add into that mix anxious, aggressive drivers, and 10 million mopeds and motorcycles, all whos' owners have death wishes. These people do zero degree turns to weave laterally through standstill traffic when there is that rare moment they have less than 6 inches of clearance to squeeze between cars.

My driver drops me in MONASTIRAKI -- the heart of Ancient Athens.

When I got out, I was admittedly out of sorts. I could not find my position on a map and was clutching to my bag so tightly (like a little old lady), so it didn't get snatched.

I imagined something similar to the scene in Full Metal Jacket would be the final goodbye between my valuables and me, and the perp would weave his way on a moped between people, and traffic, making recovery impossible.

Greek Eats

2008-04-11T03:00:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I dragged Andrea out of bed @ 8pm to get out of the hotel. around 9:00 we went down and asked for some recommendations. We ended up about a mile away eating souvlaki and gyros - good eats!

We walked back to the hotel, then Andrea decided to to stay in the room to avoid her business people in the bar (and she wasn't feeling so hot.)

So BigT rolled out by himself. I had a great time and met folks from all over the US and Europe. In fact, they all want me to come back tomorrow night and bring Andrea to introduce. It's nights like these that I enjoy being a stranger in a strange land.

Tomorrow, Andrea has to work in the afternoon. I plan on heading to explore downtown Athens by myself. I truly look forward to it.

Greek Graffiti and Unfinished Houses

2008-04-10T18:50:00.000-07:00

So we got to the Temple of Poseidon. It's pretty neat as far as COOL OLD SHIT goes. The Temple sits atop a cliff and was a beacon for returning sailors.

The bus ride there was a blast. Our tour guide was describing why there are so many half-built buildings here (there are a lot). 1. Lack of money (and then he'd punctuate by spelling out the word lack "L-A-C-K") 2. Greek people don't like loans "L-O-A-N" 3. There are no laws mandating that construction be finished and 4. No property taxes (soon to be changed once EU policy takes effect -- get ready for Forclosure City on Seaside Greek property!)

In addition to the "Unfeeneeshed Billdeengs" he felt the need to point out every olive tree and pistachio tree. And even went as far as telling us when an "Oileev Tree" was adjacent to an "Unfeeneeshed Billdeeng"

The graffiti here is great. What I'm sure says "I fucked Petula" or "I love Christoff" reads like a calculus problem.

We're back in the hotel. Andrea is napping. Hopefully we find some nightlife and meet some peeps.

Day 2

2008-04-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

OK. Up early and off to breakfast. Then a quick nap while Andrea makes her presentation. I made plans to go to the Temple of Poseidon at Cape Sounion. Then we had lunch in the hotel (regretably). We don't really have any options in the vicinity of our hotel. I hope we make it out tonight.

Day 1, Part 2

2008-04-10T01:45:00.000-07:00

So Andrea went to some business dinner and I was left by myself to explore. 1st Stop: The Hotel Bar. In my experiences, the bar tender is always the first one to steer you the right way. And Steffano, albehim a very nice guy and a very good barkeep was no the font of info I sought.

He did however, let me know that I wasn't going to find much around these parts, except another hotel bar. So I stayed and had a few more on the house -- I think I made him laugh more than he made me laugh -- to no avail (it was still expensive) once the exchangerate is figured into the calculation.

He did however continue one of my favorite Greek stereotypes -- which started with my Greek barber, continued with My Big Fat Greek Weddingand now has been bolstered and confirmed by Steffano. These people love etymology. He was explaining that he was from Seteanos and that SETE meant SEVEN and ANOS meant ISLAND so he was from the land of Seven Islands. [ed note: I don't remember if it was Seteanos, but since I don't speak Greek, it's good enough for this story]

Met up with Andrea later on. I was introduced to one of her British colleagues and I ended up drinking with him another hour. Little did I know that Andrea was trying to summon me up to the room to not arouse awareness of my presence in a company paid room. I wish she let me know this was an issue in her mind. Now I feel like an idiot.

In any case, I had a good first day and night. I look forward to more that Greece has to offer.

Day 1, Part 1

2008-04-09T18:00:00.000-07:00

So I've checked in and now Andrea is here. She is dead tired and has some event she should attend tonight.
The weather is PERFECT. About 70 degs, slight breeze, sunny. Our hotel and room are amazing. Our balcony overlooks the Mediterranean and the water is so clear you can see the bottom.

Being a stranger in a strange land is always a bit nerve racking, especially when you don't know the lay of the land and can't speak or read the language. In other words, It's all Greek to me.

They didn't even run me through customs here! (Maybe they expect the Gestapo that is Belgian TSA to catch all malfeasors)

Some Car Service guys trild to hustle me for a ride to the hotel. I showed them a printout of my hotel, then asked for a price -- 90 fuckin' Euro! That's like $150-$160. When I told them I'd take my chances with a taxi, they balked -- they said I'd be charged per item, etc etc.

Turns out the cabbie I had spoke no English and he took me exactly where I needed to be in a new (albeit) yellow Mercedes. I'm guessing that was a left-over side-effect from the Olympics. And, it only cost me 25E.

I'm now on the balcony waiting for the sun to set, listening to the waves lap up against the rocks. This is very cool -- and I haven't even done anything yet.

What is Belgium?

2008-04-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

Right now we're flying over the still snow capped Alps. (pretty cool)

So I made it to Brussels. Quickly and accidentally, I fount a way out of the terminal without having to go through customs. Found out that I had to have my Passport stamped (even though I was not entering Belgium) then go through security again. I was pretty ticked as I had a bottle of Bombay Sapphire confiscated @ security. I had bought it duty free on the plane for only $21. What a steal! and then I got GIN JACKED!

I'll have to let American Airlines know they shouldn't be selling liquids to passengers connecting in Belgium.

The seats on the Belgium Air plane are pretty tiny. Luckily, I have a whole row to myself or I would have to order some Tabasco to flavor the kneecaps I'd surely be eating.

I actually looked up Belgium on the map, because I never think about Belgium for anything.
Everyone speaks French, but all the advertising and signage is in English. It borders France and Germany and is right across the channel from England. But what is it known for? It's not like you hear much about Belgian hockey players and I don't remember Belgium being a key player in SALT talks, NATO or WWII.

I think Belgium is like Europe's Canada -- French/English; non-offensive people/history; absolutely irrelevant to the rest of the world. It's gotta stand for something, right?

Wood shoes? No, that's the Netherlands
Fine Autos? No, that's Germany
Tulips? The Dutch Again
Army knives? Clocks? Chocolates? Swiss. Swiss. Swiss.

So with Brussels, Belgium, I suppose you only get Sprouts and Waffles. (and now GIN JACKINGS)

(less than 2 hours to Athens)

PS: Oh yeah. I just got JACKED again by the Belgians. 1Euro for a .15L soda. Just to convert that for all y'all 'mericans -- that's like $1.80 for 5 oz of soda.

Still on Brussels time.

Over the middle of nowhere (aka the Atlantic Ocean)

2008-04-09T05:00:00.000-07:00

So I'm finally on my way. The flight has been okay so far. Nothing too bad or good. Was able to sit next to a vacant seat -- so that helps immensely.

I'm a bit PO'd that I left my USC hat in the Esuper Eshuttle. I went shopping for a new lid at both BWI and JFK --> only good for Orioles, I (heart) NY, and Yankees hats...and I refuse to wear those. Hopefully, I can find a coole hat in Greece.

The iPod is working great -- but I must turn the brightness down for the long trips to preserve the battery. 30 minutes of playing mini-golf took 25% of my battery life. But no worries. I've actually been reading a lot. I finished DIRT (about Motley Crue) and RIGGED, which is about setting up an oil exchange in Dubai (ed note: written by the same guy who wrote Bringing Down the House, on which that new movie "21" is based)

--the time is GMT+1 (Brussels time)

At JFK

2008-04-08T16:45:00.000-07:00

Combine NY and an airport and what do you get? BROKE

$47 for 3 20oz beers and a burger + tip.

This airport is remarkable. It is new and modern in most respects, but it has like 10 Ms. Pacman/Galaga machines. They probably cost $2 to play.

Why are seats in airports big and comfy, but seats on airplanes small and cramped?

JW's music library is amazing. Anytime I get a song in my head, I go to the iPod and JW has downloaded it. JW rocks
(ed note: JW is one of my best friends and he let me copy his whole iTunes library -- which has about 9000 songs. He is my music phone-a-friend)

On the Tarmac

2008-04-08T13:30:00.000-07:00

Stuck on the tarmac at BWI.

I think the flight attendant is a pre-op TS. She is FIERCE and has a booming voice.

She reminds me of the bartender in Shrek, with the 5 o'clock shadow and the white dress

Here we go again!

2008-04-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

This time I'm headed off to Athens to meet up with Andrea (my sister), who's going on a business trip. I'm really excited about it. Unfortunately, it is a lot of travel.

Note to self: Never take SUPER SHUTTLE again.

They picked me up 5 hours before my flight -- so now I'm stuck @ BWI with hours to kill. I'm people watching @ the bar. People are strange. One guy - older, nice suit, 4-letter monogram on his shirt pocket, cuff links, slick hair, yellow tint glasses -- he downed 4 double Dewars and sodas in like 10 minutes. It is only 10 am

A new guy rolled up with a very similar look. I truly thought it was the same guy coming back for another round. He thinks he is super stylish. European collar open down to his belly button, purple shirt, white collar, cufflings and unbuttoned suit jacket cuffs(?). He is trying way too hard. Frankly, he is looking exactly the opposite of stylish. What a shame, because they are nice clothes.

Oh, and now I just saw that he drinks his morning red wine with a pinky in the air. I'm guessing he holds his cigarettes between his thumb and forefinger and has stirrups for his socks -- putz -- ugh, I just realized he's wearing that get up with blue jeans...and loafers no socks (of course)

So let's try this blogging thing

2008-04-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

OK Folks. I am on vacation right now in Greece. When I travel abroad, I like to keep a journal to memorialize the conversations, sights, sounds, and observations I encounter.

I've just arrived in Greece, but decided to share my journal with all of you. I will bring you up to date on my thoughts so far on this trip. Pictures will be coming -- I forgot the USB cable to download from my camera while I'm here.

Enjoy!

Retroactively posted...