Hell hath no fury...

Is the moral of this story "Don't be the ugly one" or is it "Don't cheat on your wife" or could it be "Don't look 5 gift horses in the mouths"?

Chinese Mistress Contest Ends in Death
CNN

BEIJING, China (Feb. 17) -- A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep.

But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported.
The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said.

Police initially thought the car had plummeted off a mountain road in eastern China on Dec. 6 by accident. Then they learned of the contest through a letter the dead woman had left behind, the Shanghai Daily newspaper said.

The 29-year-old woman, identified only as Yu, was a waitress when she met the businessman at a restaurant in the coastal city of Qingdao in 2000.

At the time, the businessman, identified only by his last name -- Fan -- was married and had four other mistresses, according to the Peninsula Metropolis Daily newspaper in Qingdao.

No Fan of Bush

He may be a fan of Hairy Beavers, but he's no fan of Bush!


Favorite line of the day: "They aren't saying BOOOOOOO!, they're saying BOOOOOOSH!"

This is pretty damned funny

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

So much for boxing being the "Sweet" Science

I think my favorite part of this clip is Jim Lampley commenting: "...which prompted Vargas to knock the ever-living shit out of him."

Men-on-men-shirtless-kissing, making men weak in the knees for centuries now.

Pensive, I am

After a quick googling of my ex-girlfriend's name, I've discovered that she's married and has a new name. Not only is she married, but was married almost a year to the date after we broke up. It feels a bit weird that I was with her 2½ years, and since then (Jan 2007), she: (got over me [possibly, maybe she was just sick of me by that point]); met someone; started a relationship; got engaged; and got married within 13 months.



I'm neither bitter, nor upset. And, I wish nothing but the best for her. It just feels a bit odd -- somehow the math doesn't add up. And, I'm certain that math is the exact same reason we didn't add up.

For the Nerd in You

1790: Samuel Hopkins, of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania , received Patent No. 1 on July 31, 1790, for an improvement "in the making Pot ash and Pearl ash by a new Apparatus and Process." The patent was signed by President George Washington, Attorney General Edmund Randolph, and Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson.



I went to college with a lot of guys who made a lot of pot ash. Oddly enough, they never paid royalties.

It's a Jungle Out There

In my efforts to become a dating member of society, as a member of a dating website I was sent an "interest" notification from a woman who has HSV-2. I'm no doctor, so I googled. Results: Not good. Turns out HSV-2 is not just the name of a ship.

Here I Come to Save the Day!

Last night while grabbing something out of my car, I heard a cry for help. It was a woman across the street calmly, but loudly asking "Sir! Sir! Do you have a phone I can use? My dog is having a seizure!"

I ran in the house and grabbed my phone, and then back out to the canine in distress. The woman called her son to come pick her and "Beau" up. Turns out Beau was a rescued dog, and is susceptible to seizures. It's kind of strange seeing a dog have a seizure -- he was just kind of tranced out, and twitching. The woman assured me Beau would be fine, he just needed some more meds.

Beau snapped back into shape as the son's car pulled up. I think he'll be fine.

Surreal.

Vegas Baby!

Yes, friends, I am in Las Vegas, drunken-posting at 0543 EST.

The tallies to date:
-$150 gambling
-$85 bar tab
+18 oz, rare prime rib
+3 hooker propositions (0 accepted)
-12 hours sleep lost over the past 2 days
...staying up all night getting drunk and watching lounge acts perform "Funkytown", priceless.

I think my favorite quote of the trip was when a dude I was playing video poker next to stated that he had once met Marvin Gaye on the street (the lounge act was playing Marvin Gaye at the time) -- and Marvin asked him "What's goin' on?" (dude was not even trying to make a joke).

I've missed Vegas...

The Lovers, The Dreamers, and Me.

Sometimes, I think mankind doesn't stand a chance.

Water Drinks Michael Phelps

America's newest Superhero, Michael Phelps, has officially arrived! He has his own fun facts page (only rivaled by the omnipotent Chuck Norris). Enjoy!

http://michaelphelpsfacts.com/Welcome.html

10 Movies to see before you die

As a follow up to the 10 books you need to read before you die, a survey was done on the 10 movies you need to see before you die. It seems they've broken them out by genre.

Drama: The Godfather. One of my absolute favorite movies, ever.


Romance: Titanic. This movie was actually surprisingly good. As a general rule I do not like period pieces, because I know how they end (SPOILER: The boat sinks)...but I found the love story in Titanic compelling.


Classic: Gone With the Wind. This is high on my favorite reads list, and thus makes it very low on my favorite movie list.


Action: Batman Returns. I'm not sure I agree with this one. But I do enjoy this movie.


Sci-Fi: Star Wars. Another of my all time faves. Although, I think the Empire Strikes Back would get the nod in my book.


Horror: The Sixth Sense. This is an awful choice for must-see horror movie of all time. Insert the Omen or the Exorcist and I'd be happier. The reason I hated the Sixth Sense so much? Because I figured it out in 15 minutes. "I see dead Bruce Willises"


Teen: The Breakfast Club. Hard to argue with this choice. Who doesn't love the Breakfast Club.



Musical: Moulin Rouge. I hate musicals. Period. With a gun to my head, I would put West Side Story light years ahead of Moulin Rouge.


Comedy: The Naked Gun. Although I did like the Naked Gun, there are so many better comedies to put ahead of it. Wayne's World, Austin Powers, Old School, Swingers, Office Space...I could go on.


Foreign: Amelie. I enjoyed this movie. I can't say that I've seen a lot of foreign flicks, but I think I would put Life is Beautiful and Enter the Dragon above this one.



So where do you weigh in on these choices? DJ Skittles: I'm looking your way!

Death Pool

They say celebrities always go in threes...

This weekend we've sadly lost Bernie Mac:



Then we sadly lost Isaac Hayes:


Who will be #3?

I'm putting my money on Muhammed Ali

Hail to the Redskins!

No. I'm not a 'skins fan. Well, not directly.

I do like when the 'skins are on TV though, that is the optimal time to get anything done around this overcrowded town. Tonight, I went to the market to get my victuals...and I was expecting to have to fight for parking, as I always do. Instead I found something similar to this:




I came home a few minutes later to find that the Redskins were on TV. Coincidence? I think not.

PS: It is also very advantageous to golf during 'skins games

On the soapbox: E-Cheaters

There's been a lot of buzz in the media about the website ashleymadison.com, which is a dating website that promotes infidelity/affairs. Overall, the feedback I've heard/read about this site is to condemn the website for promoting such behavior. What the fuck is wrong with people. Seriously, it's not like the website forced anyone to cheat...



People have been purveying vice for centuries (casinos, strip clubs, pimps, drug dealers, bar tenders) -- how is this any different? What happened to people taking responsibility for their own actions. Would anyone's marriage be vastly improved if e-cheating didn't exist?

Project Runway!

The D has inspired me to play fantasy Project Runway...not exactly the natural progression from playing fantasy sports. I hope trash talking is not frowned upon! 'Cause I'm throwin' down!

I'm Half Well Read!

There was an internet survey of 10 books you must read before you die...I've read half of them; as a general non-reader, I'm impressed with myself. Even if the list is not exactly loaded with what are commonly considered literary classics.

Here's the list:
Gone With the Wind*
Lord of the Rings*/2
Harry Potter
The Stand*
The DaVinci Code*
To Kill a Mocking Bird*
Angels and Demons
Atlas Shrugged
Catcher in the Rye*x2
The Bible



I only read half of the Lord of the Rings -- reading about trolls, elves, wzards, hobbits, and whatnot got boring after a while (allegory be damned)...the movies had started being released, and frankly, I preferred the eye candy.

But, I did read the Catcher in the Rye twice. Once when I was 15, once again when I was 30...I'm sure I'll get more out of it at 45. It was an eye-opener re-reading this work...as a 15 year old, to me, Holden Caufield was a rebel and an anti-hero -- as a 30 year old, to me, he was just an insecure prick. Why this is mandatory high school reading is a mystery to me. I don't think a 15 year old can see the intracacies of what Salinger is trying to convey...at least this guy couldn't.

The Stand and DaVinci Code were good page turners...I enjoyed them both for what they are.

Angels and Demons and Atlas Shrugged are definitely on my to-read list...Harry Potter and The Bible, not so much.

Gone With the Wind is by far the crown jewel of this list...great book. A book so good it made me hate the movie (which is widely considered in the Top 3 movies ever made, but then again Citizen Kane did nothing for me).


So, Intrepid Readers, which of these have you read? and what were your impressions?

Watermelon - the other blue pill

Scientists at Texas A&M University have found that watermelon has the potential to act as a natural Viagra. Ya know...my mother mentioned this to me earlier today (insert your own Woody Allen joke here)-- and then I saw my neighbor hauling an 8 pound mellon up the stairs a couple of hours later...I didn't connect the dots until now, at 1:45 in the morning...

I love this commercial

Enzyte Bob!

This commercial is not great because it is about male enhancement -- It's great for all the double-entendres smuggled into the copy...

Bob is "chubby" with a "sack-ful" of pride...as things heat up on the north pole...I applaud you Madison Avenue. Well played.

WTF flavored ice cream

I stumbled upon this item at the grocery store today:



Drumstick flavored ice cream? Isn't that like having a Snickers flavored candy bar? Or a cheddar flavored cheese?